The Eternal Couch Potato

The Eternal Couch Potato

Share this post

The Eternal Couch Potato
The Eternal Couch Potato
Ogre Squire Ch. 2: The Teeth of the Warg

Ogre Squire Ch. 2: The Teeth of the Warg

Ukura meets a furry friend

Rob Hutton's avatar
Rob Hutton
Feb 23, 2024
∙ Paid

Share this post

The Eternal Couch Potato
The Eternal Couch Potato
Ogre Squire Ch. 2: The Teeth of the Warg
Share

I followed Althea back into the human town. The humans looked at me with disgust and fear, their thin little lips creased into what passed for snarls. I’ll have you know that, among ogres, I’m actually considered quite cute and feminine. But all the men saw was a muscular, six-foot green monster.

“We are only staying long enough to collect my horse,” said Althea. “I have other requests to attend to.”

“They don’t pay you?” I said.

Althea laughed. “Through their taxes, they do. But no, the knights of Albion are not mercenaries. We help whoever may need our… special skills.”

An innkeeper brought around Althea’s horse. It had hair the pure white of a new snowfall, and long, majestic legs. It was the kind of horse girls dreamed about, even ogre girls like me. Althea threw a saddle onto the animal and mounted it.

“It’s beautiful,” I said. “What’s its name?”

“He’s Silverhair,” said Althea. “And he’s very upset that the people here didn’t give him any apples.” She patted the horse’s flank. “When we’re done today, buddy.”

Althea kept Silverhair at a trot so that I could keep up on foot. “Can I get a horse?” I asked, excited at the prospect.

“Later,” she said. “I doubt the people of this village are inclined to sell you anything. In the mean time, I do not mind traveling at a slower pace than usual.”

A quick glance around told me that she was right. The humans all had their eyes fixed on me with their mouths turned into hateful snarls. They had left half my tribe with severe burns or worse, but they were still ready to hitch me to a post if I got out of Althea’s line of sight.

“Uh, yeah,” I said. “Let’s get going.”

Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to The Eternal Couch Potato to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Rob Hutton
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share